Your Shitty Attitude is a Choice

Do you ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Maybe some days literally. But maybe you just wake up and you're already in a shit mood. You're annoyed that you wake up and your apartment is a mess. You want to blame your partner for not cleaning the apartment the night before. On top of the dirty apartment, you wake up to the smell of your cat's litter box and it adds to your already irritated mood. You even think your cat has it out for you because while you are cleaning her litter box she goes and takes a piss in the shower. You feel like everyone including your cat has it out for you.

But maybe you just woke up with some crazy emotions. Lets unpack that. Now, you could go one of two ways. You can either continue your morning thinking that the world is against you, and more than likely you will probably continue to carry your shit attitude with you throughout the rest of your day. OR you could get up, start by making your bed, and clean up the apartment yourself. You can realize that your cat had no where to pee while you were cleaning her smelly liter and at least she was considerate enough to literally go in the bathroom. Some days we take the route of choosing to stay in a bad mood. And most days we choose to take accountability for the silly things that trigger us. Thats right I said choose, because if you haven't noticed yet, even our moods are a choice.

I'm going to let you in on how I came to the realization that how we feel is a choice. There was this crazy thing that happened about four years ago. I had some major life events like spending a night in jail that made me take a good look at my life. At first I blamed the person I was then dating for our night spent in jail. We were court ordered to stay away from each other so he moved out immediately and I was left alone to sit and think about it all. Oh, and on top of that it was during this world wide pandemic and I had contracted this weird flu that was going around, so I had to be isolated from EVERYONE for a two week period. Although the toughest two weeks while I was battling myself internally for the events that were occuring, they turned out to be the best for me. Because of this time alone I got to really sit with myself, truly maybe for the first time ever. And I had discovered this thing called awareness. And through this awareness I began to choose to take charge of my life by taking accountabiltiy for how shitty things were going then.

Maybe some other day I will go more into details about life events that lead me to awareness. But for now, I just wanted to illustrate how I got there. It's this awareness that we all have access to, that allows us each to witness how we feel and choose how we will show up. If this is your first time finding this out, welcome to true adulthood and maturity. Its not always going to be the easy route, choosing to be aware of all your shit and doing something about it. It's probably going to feel gut wrenching at times when you have to take accountability for it all. But it is the more freeing route, because at the end of the day who wants to always be in a shitty mood?

With love,

Jay